I’m an optimist. A glass half-full kinda girl. Laughter and smiles are my default.
And then times of loss come knocking.
My dear aunt passed away 2 weeks ago. She had been battling Alzheimer’s for a decade, slowly declining. The last time I saw her, she didn’t remember me. Her exit from this life comes 2 years after my mother (her eldest sister) and one year after my other aunt (her next sister in line) passing.
When I considered sharing this with you today, I had thoughts come up like: “I don’t want to be downer.” and “Joy is my jam, not grief!”
But I decided to go all in, if only for a short post. I figured that if I’ve thought about this, you likely have as well.
If we can share the good stuff, we can share the hard stuff too.
In the last 6 years I’ve encountered the loss of 7 family loved ones. (More on that in this post). During my younger life there were at least a dozen more, along with friends and coworkers.
Each experience has taught me so much and each life has left a special mark on my heart. I’m grateful to have had such a large extended, generational family to learn valuable lessons from over the years, and many other beautiful connections.
One of the most healing actions I’ve come to know during times of loss is this:
Grief shared is more easily and fully processed.
The only way I know how to go through times of grief and loss are to connect with others. To share all the feels. To hold space for those who need it most. In doing this, healing begins.
Many people avoid diving into the depths of their emotions at all costs. They plow ahead, matter of factly getting back to business as usual. I get it – death sucks. Yet it’s a part of our precious life. I believe that in fast-tracking grief you miss out on hidden gifts.
Experiencing the loss of those you care deeply about is something you’ll come face to face with at some point in your life.
I talk a lot about cycles and seasons when it comes to womxn’s self-care. I believe, and have experienced first-hand, that developing nourishing practices early on can benefit you and yours in many ways.
I’m exploring the intersection between wellness, loss, and community during this season. My desire is to be an encouragement to you as you navigate this precious life you’re living, along with the ups and downs.
I’d love to know from you:
What has given you the most comfort during the dark times in your life?
How have those times impacted how you take care of yourself?
Please share your thoughts in the comments below. I appreciate you sharing from your heart.
May your week be infused by deep connection with your loved ones and your sweet self.
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Many Blessings,
Sheila
Sorry for your losses and for sharing. My good friend is going through a health crisis currently and I’m trying to help her where I can. I feel guilty taking a break, because I’m healthy but I see your point. Thanks for your perspective. I will be stronger for her if I don’t overdo it.
My faith gives me comfort in dark times – especially now. But I’ve let my needs slide out of guilt. I’m going to change that. Thank you.
Liz, I just noticed that my reply to you didn’t send. My apologies! I hope your friend is doing ok — and that you’re having grace on yourself as you navigate how to be there for her while not burning yourself out. It certainly is a delicate balance. Your being there for her shows so much about your character. Keep clinging to your faith and to your dear ones. We all need each other at the best of times. Blessings on you & yours.